Monday, July 16, 2012

Pumped up Kicks

New things:

1. I am attemping to eat a vegan diet. (Bhahahaha!) okay at least Local and all Organic?
2. I am going to try to run every day this week.
3. I am superbly bloated right now and hope this feeling goes away soon.
4. I started running again two weeks ago and forgot how much I missed it.

I had not been to Memorial Park in 2 years. Yes, two years- you can do the math....I stopped pretty much all forms of exercise except for Billy Blanks Tae-Bo occasionally in front of my TV. (I can't ever quit you Billy, and yes you are the original p90 workout ;P) I ran occasionally last year around Elinor Tinsley park (since I could walk right outside and run) but not too often because taking a jogging stroller on those paths could be treacherous and the hobo's kinda freaked me out. I heard everyone talk about how sad it was the trees were dying at Memorial Park because of the drought and then hearing of the dead tree removal, but I had not seen it.

I remember my first time at the park (walking it) and thinking it was the longest trail EVER. I always hated running and never thought I could ever be a "runner". Then I remember running it and thinking I would never speed around the 3.2 miles without stopping for multiple walking breaks. I remember breaking in new jogging shoes and getting blisters on my ankles so terrible they bled and I couldn't wear shoes with backs for days.

I remember the sound tracks I ran to, and still have memorized in my mind my jogging play lists I would compile on my iPod. I remember thinking things over in head in my early twenties and I clearly remember one evening while running when I knew if I continued down the path (in life) where I would surely end up... and I remember running the track without stopping.

I remember being pregnant and I was back to walking the park.

Then came Georgia, and the jogging stroller. That thing was a lot harder to run with than I first thought but I got the hang of it. When Georgia was a baby we spent a LOT of time at Memorial Park. We would run every morning almost, and sometimes in the evenings. We went to the playground constantly. I couldn't keep that girl from the swing set if I tried. She loved it. There were trees covering the playground area. It was pretty. I remember bundling her up with blankets, jackets, hats and gloves when it was super cold out and we ran. I bought a little fan to clip on her stroller to cool her off when it was scorching hot and we ran. I remember running faster than I ever have before in my life when a rainstorm hit us and we were still a mile and a half away from the car. Sometimes she loved the stroller, other times she hated it. I would bribe her with goldfish and snacks and thoughts of being able to swing after mommy jogs!

I remember running and realizing my long ago prophecy had indeed come true and that I had ended up exactly where I thought I would be and wondering what was going to happen next.

My last days at the park, that I remember, my mom would come with me (Georgia was completely disgusted with the stroller at this point in life and it seemed cruel and unusual punishment to make her ride in it) She and Georgia would play at the playground while I ran.

And then I stopped running. I stopped taking Georgia to that particular park. Life changed and became a game of survival- you know the one: Transform from stay at home mom to working mom on your own and still accomplish everything in a day while not feeling guilty. Who had TIME to run, much less energy? I ran all day long- to drop Georgia off, to work, to school, to pick her up, to feed her dinner, to give her a bath and put her in bed, to go to the grocery store, to do the laundry, to clean the apartment. And it was hard. I began to hate running again.

From time to time I would get out and run Elinor Tinsley and it would feel great. But it wasn't the same and I couldn't ever find the right path. Plus the hobo's and the smell of bat sh*t (along with the fear of a rabid bat coming to attack me) under that one bridge was a detourant.

So two weeks ago I went back. Of course right in the middle of the summer, but Georgia was gone for summer visitation and I was lonely and in need to whipping myself into shape so I thought about it for a few days then threw my running clothes into my bag and I went after work. It was raining but by the time I arrived only sprinkling.

When I drove through I was shocked. I think you notice the most at the playground where the drought claimed every single tree. I really and truly almost cried. It's just an open field now. I parked and started my run and was amazed at all the missing trees. So much has changed in two years. The scars are too easy to see- it's almost ironic.

So I guess now it's time to dig out the old jogging stroller (I have no idea where it is) and go back at it for awhile...I guess you could say I've come full circle. I never thought I would say this, but I'm excited.