I spent the past weekend glued to CNN watching the horrific aftermath of a horrific situation. A situation that hit all too close to home for me. We all have heard of the terrible, terrible tragedy that occurred in Newton, CT. My heart breaks for the victims, the survivors, the families. For the first time in my life the words "I cannot imagine" are true. I cannot imagine. I cannot let myself begin to imagine the horror of it all.
Why? Why did this happen? Why did 20 precious children have to loose their lives? 6 amazing adults? I, along with everyone else wanted an answer right away- why did this happen? What can we do to prevent something like this in the future from happening? We need action now!
After a few days have passed I realize there really isn't an answer. At least not a good one. The truth is there is NO explanation for this event. If there was an "explanation" it would not be enough. There will never be an "explanation" that would make anyone stop and say "Oh! So that is why he gunned down 20 six and seven year olds- it all makes sense now!" <-----That will never happen.
So I am left when the question of "What can we do to prevent something like this from happening?" I really do not know the answer to this. I don't think we can ban guns completely. Putting stricter guidelines on gun ownership won't cut it either as all the guns used in this terrible crime were obtained and owned legally. I'm sure there are SO many options on this front but let's be honest...if someone has it in their head to commit this crazy act they will find the means.
What is that last statement? "if someone has it in their head" Could this be the best place to start?
I come back to not knowing. There is not an explanation and there is not a remedy. All I know is right now 20 babies are gone forever, 6 adults have been taken from their family. The only thing I can do is pray. Pray for the victims, survivors and families. Pray for my own daughter and hope she does not find out about this tragedy and start to ask questions. "Mommy, am I safe at school?" So many words I would want to tell her to comfort her, "Of course you are safe".... "That could never happen here at your school" but I can't speak those words to her because I know I will be lying. So I pray she never asks and I pray for her safety. Once again I don't have the answers.
When I was younger my mom and I decided at one point to begin purchasing "keepsake" type Christmas books to read, save and pass through our family. While we have TONS of Christmas books I think we ended up with only two "keepsake" types- you know...cloth cover, nice little case to keep it in. Out of those two Baxter (my new sweet little beagle at the age of 16) ate one. The book itself is still intact but that beautiful leather-like cover was destroyed....It just adds to it's charm. (and makes me wonder where is Baxter? Not the first time a dog has disappeared from 2005 Deepbrook...)
Moving on- the remaining book is "The Gift of the Magi". This book always depressed me when I read it growing up. I recall reading it over and over again looking for something I was missing in this book. There has to be a hidden message... I read it to Georgia the other night thinking maybe I will *get* it now that I am older and wiser. I still had no answers for myself. Better yet- no answers for my 5 year old. Fabulous.
In the version we have Della and Jim are 14 and 16. Their parents died the year before due to the harsh winter. They live paycheck to paycheck. Maybe Della cleans houses occasionally and Jim works in a bank but is so freaking stressed out he is looking WAY older than his 16 years. Depressed yet?
Della gets it in her head that she HAS to buy a present for Jim...Just has to! BUT she only has $1.87 even though she has save all year long. ONE DOLLAR AND EIGHTY SEVEN CENTS!!! I mean she can't buy a gift worthy of Jim for $1.87- what to do???
Glad you asked- Della has a prized possession- Her beautiful red hair which is admired by all and similar to Rapunzel's...except red. So she runs to the salon, chops her hair off and gets 20 bucks for it to buy Jim's present. (I really hate this book.)
She ends up buying Jim a platinum chain for his pocket watch, which is HIS prized possession. Passed through generation after generation. (anyone else wondering where you could get a platinum pocket watch chain in NYC for $20....so I'm not the only one?) yay! Christmas is solved- she shaved her head and bought Jim a present. Awesome.
Alas, there is a problem...when they exchange gifts they realize they BOTH gave up their most PRIZED possessions to buy the other a gift! Della no longer has the gorgeous mop of hair to hold the amazing and expensive hair combs Jim bought her. Meanwhile Jim, poor lad, sold his FAMILY HEIRLOOM to buy Della some freaking hair combs. Yep, that's right...he no longer has a use for that platinum watch chain....
Then you get some bit about how they are the wisest along with a comparison to the Kings who brought gifts to baby Jesus. Ummm....okay- I'm totally lost. Plus still irritated at this entire scenario. Is Jim a moron? Della's hair will grow back eventually but that watch is gone forever. It was the ONLY thing he had of his father's!
Unfortunately this is a question I don't even have an answer to! This SHOULD be easy- right? There are a million things a 5 year old little girl would love to have- just take a peek at the toy catalog I handed her and you will see just about everything pictured in those glossy pages has been circled by Miss Georgia herself. Honestly I'm still waiting to figure out that ONE special gift. If you recall, last year it was all about a "Barbie Case" that took me until the week before Christmas to decipher.
So we have a little conversation the other day:
Me: "Georgia what do you really want for Christmas?"
Georgia: "Mom, I circled everything I want in the book..."
Me: "Okay, but is there something really special you would like Santa to bring you?"
Georgia: "Umm yes!"
Me: "Great, what is it?"
Georgia: "A real snow pit for inside that we can set up and go into anytime we want to play in it!!!"
She is really making this easy for me this year...
Me: "um, Okay...anything else you would like?"
Georgia: "Yes, the red Mercedes car"
Yep, that came out of her mouth. Fabulous Georgia. Just Fabulous.