27 days from now I revert back to "mama" which then will turn into my favorite word in the world, "mommy" that I held onto desperately with Georgia and for years would still sign my notes to her as "mommy". I finally begrudgingly accepted times have changed and I'm now "mom" and I'm okay with it now. Georgia is my #1, my sidekick, my proudest accomplishment in life and now...I get to do it all over again.
As this pregnancy comes to an end to be honest- I'm not ready for it to end. I don't feel like I've taken it all in yet. I'm not totally uncomfortable- in fact, other than the placenta previa that required me to stay off my feet and take it easy this has been a fairly easy pregnancy. I am actually enjoying being pregnant. Lola kicks me every night and through out the day- Georgia never moved so it's fun to experience that. I feel more connected to this baby than I did to Georgia... maybe because she's my second and I know what to expect. I don't know- I just know that I've tried my best to take it all in and I've been in complete awe of the entire pregnancy process this time around and the way my body has grown and adapted to create this tiny baby living inside of me and I'm not ready for that part to end.
I suppose part of it is knowing this time around this will be my last pregnancy. After all these years of wanting another baby and now on the precipice of having another baby it's sad to think this is the last time I'll do this.
I also still pinch myself and can't quite believe this is happening. December 2018 seems like just yesterday. This pregnancy has flown by. I can't really comprehend that I'm just 27 days out from holding this beautiful baby in my arms.
As far as being prepared on all other fronts... let me just say, I have the BEST family and friends in the world. The amount of baby gear is staggering and her clothes... oh her clothes! I had to move a portion of them to my closet and box up the rest. Her closet right now consists of one entire rack of Newborn only sized clothing (along with 2 dresser drawers filled with newborn sleepers) and the other rack filled with all 0-3 month sized clothing. There is no more room to hang anything else up and all the 3-6 month, 6-9, 12month and on up has been packed away until she grows into it!
This baby is so loved and I am so thankful for all the support during this pregnancy. It's been quite a journey but as always, God is in control. I've truly turned over so much to Him during this time and I'm thankful for the sense of peace I have. He has blessed me more than I could have imagined. Every time I've doubted myself or questioned my path God has shown up big time. It's been pretty humbling. I know, without a doubt, that everything will be okay. Life has a funny way of working out.
xoxo,
Melanie
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"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."- John Lennon
